Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize