sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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