you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize