I met the friendliest cop last night
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
