Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
