He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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