people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
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I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.