Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
