WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?