Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
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Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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