Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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