i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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