I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize