It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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