Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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