so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize