bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
