Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
