So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
