Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
