i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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