Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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