Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
