His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
