Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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