Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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