Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize