At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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