She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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