it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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