also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
