Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
