I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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