"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize