I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
