You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
