It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
