So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
