Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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