Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

brad dismisses pussy with prejudice

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(301): View more from Maryland

you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.

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(818): View more from California

i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?

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(251): View more from Alabama

you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit

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