i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
