One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
