I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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