This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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