my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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