Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
