I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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