I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
