so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
