I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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