you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They took my balls.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
