I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
