mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
