Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
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I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
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We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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