I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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