you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
