No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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