Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dignity is for republicans.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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