My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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