How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
kristin has been a bad kristin
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
