The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
