Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
